No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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