Do vagina's smell?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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