Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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