this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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