Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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