he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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