The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
