just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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