we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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