And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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