i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize