Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
