At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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