Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
