Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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