Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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