it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
