Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize