Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize