My Higher Power is John Stamos
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
