THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
