it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
