Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
