ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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