i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
