Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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