This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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