You work out of a Hotel?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
