Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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