Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize