Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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