a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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