Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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