drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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