Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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