i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
