Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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