Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
