Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
