You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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