So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Randomize
