Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
