Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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