Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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