She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
