I wanna bring you to show and tell
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
