when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
