That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
