I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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