me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
