I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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