recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize