Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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