Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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