She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
