he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
