forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
