Just took my morning after pill in the library
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize