He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
