Moan for me like Helen Keller
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
