Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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