summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This is classic penis vs brain.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
