Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Pants are for mortals
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
